Most gods find it hard to walk and think at the same time.
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
Most gods find it hard to walk and think at the same time.
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
"If we find a cat I'm going to kick it!"
Terry Pratchett, Only You Can Save Mankind
It was possibly the most circumspect advance in the history of military manoeuvres, right down at the bottom end of the scale that things like the Charge of the Light Brigade are at the top of.
The City Watch takes action
Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
"All holy piety in public, and all peeled grapes and self-indulgence in private."
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil...prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...
Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett
Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care.
Terry defending his solution to the Monty Hall problem.
Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett
"We got a talk about it at school. There's lots of stuff most girls can't do, but you've got to pretend they can, so that more of them will."
Sexism explained
Terry Pratchett, Only You Can Save Mankind
"All the other prophets came back with commandments!"
"Where they get them?"
"I ... suppose they made them up."
"You get them from the same place."
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
It looked like the sort of book described in library catalogues as
"slightly foxed", although it would be more honest to admit that it looked as though it had beed badgered, wolved and possibly beared as well.
Ah, but has it been hedgehogged?
Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic
He was always at a loss when people acted like this. When machines went funny you just oiled them or prodded them or, if nothing else worked, hit them with a hammer. Nomes didn't respond well to this treatment.
Terry Pratchett, Diggers
"Ibid you already know."
More Discworld philosophers
Terry Pratchett, Pyramids
It is traditional, when loading wire trolleys, to put the most fragile items at the bottom.
Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man
"Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, o'course."
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family effort goes into selecting one at the start ("She looks like a Winnifred to *me*"), and the as the years roll by it suddenly finds itself being called Meepo or Ratbag.
Terry Pratchett, The Unadulterated Cat
Although the scythe isn't pre-eminent among the weapons of war, anyone who has been on the wrong end of, say, a peasants' revolt will know that in skilled hands it is fearsome.
Terry Pratchett, Mort
"ER...HO. HO. HO."
Death makes a career move
Terry Pratchett, Hogfather
"He's a man of few words, and he doesn't know what either of them mean," people said, but not when he was within hearing.
Terry Pratchett, The Carpet People
It's not Brits who think American readers are a bunch of whinging morons with the geo-social understanding of a wire coathanger, it's *American* editors.
Setting the record straight
Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett
Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.
Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
Crowley was in Hell's bad books. Not that Hell has any other kind.
Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens